Never knowing.

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend i'm okay, but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But i'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do

I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend i'm okay, but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do

Sometimes when you match the words together, you get a story.
A story that was never told.

Changkie.

Today was the last day of exams for most of us, & WOOHOOO! Micro Biology was dead fun man, staying up till 5am and waking at 6.30am fer school. I don't know why I get this weird burst of micro-organismic feeling when studying MB. ( Note: It's micro-organismic, not orgasmic. tch you)

Exactly a week ago, some of the Magnum folks & I were at Changi Airport studying till early Saturday morning. I guess it was kinda fun. Ofcourse I spent more time goofing around then studying.But hey, It's not every night that you get an airport for yourself right?

15th Friday, 2008

& the pride of being a Magnum Force cheerleader, the uniform. There were loads of times like when I first joined Magnum, I always wanted the honour of wearing it's uniform. And then there were times when I worried my arse off.


What if i don't get into nationals?
What if I wasn't good enough?
What if I never get to wear it?

Well, I did get to wear it. & and i'm really grateful that I did. I never was very proud of my Boy's Brigade uniform back in my Secondary school days. But I must say, I felt extremely happy wearing Magnum's. It really meant alot & still does to me to finally get to wear it, thanks Andra. And the pic below is for you ofcourse.


There are not going to be anymore "What if "s. I am gonna do my best to get in. & even if don't atleast i'll be happy I got to wear it, the one with his aurora on it ( Andra's words lol ).

before emotions took over.

Ages since I last posted, I better do before someone attacks me.


Friday, August 8, 2008

It was the last day of school, since there were no more S&W and CATS lessons, it was practically a free day. There was this cool National day performance at the Convention Centre.

OH, let me rephrase, it wasn't the performance that was cool. Rather it was the free stuff and activities that were held there. Free candy floss, popcorn, car racing, magic shows and body art. Vinc and I got some fake tattoos =/ The day was great and had lots of fun.



Saturday, August 9, 2008

Yup, the Nations birthday and we got the honour of performing in the National Day Parade, like finally.

It was extremely fun and im gonna miss the times spent dozing off at the flyer, practising stunts, teaching Suzanna how to speak tamil & forcing Andra to chair me. Hoho, i know he enjoyed it (potential flyer lol), didn't you?

me and my arabesque.
(yes, like real i hear)
pic from bryant*

Following week, August 10-14, 2008

And my week was spent at school library studying. Although nothing much was accomplished, we had been going to the gym often. Followed by the routine'd dinners.

Some pictures of Yvonne's new born hamsters that i dug out.




One word, cute.



That about wraps up my past week and yes, I do appreciate my life and the special people in it (:

Birds with wings, fly away.

why must you trust,
and then suffer?

Why must you believe,
and then regret?

Why must you love,
and then hate?

Why must you hold on,
and then let go?

Why are there questions?
when the answers are so clear?


" If you love something,let it go.
If it comes back to you, it's yours forever.
If it doesn't then it's just not meant to be. "

I've let go, and it didn't come back.

memories.

Sometimes we're so busy with life, we don't even notice the ones who're always by our side. Neither do we notice how much they care for us. That's what i realised when i saw this.




Friend: Hey
Selv: hi

Friend : haha
Friend : Why so quiet?
Friend: Talk
Selv : I've got work to do
Selv : Today's my only free day
Friend: Ic
Friend: Please chat
Friend: with me.
Friend : Cause I miss you
Friend: very much.

My heart melted when he said that me, made me feel like a real meanie =/ I did learn my lesson. There is no "pause" button in a friendship, atleast not in this one.

But then again, it makes me wonder. What do you do with other friends who don't acknowledge your existence? I guess time will have to tell.