The last post of 2008!

The last day of 2008 and who isn't excited? Although 2008 was full of ups and downs, I am grateful that it was a safe and pleasant year. 2009 is less then an hour away and I wanna make a memorial of the finer moments this year.

But before that, I wanna share my resolutions for the new year ahead. I try to remain humble with my resolutions while keeping it challenging. First and foremost;

Magnum Force to be CHAMPIONS!

Actually it's more of a wish then a resolution. But i hope everyone will try they're best to reach the team's common goal. Even if we don't, I hope that Magnum will grow with its members and for them to learn and surpass their previous generations of seniors.

Secondly, more of a personal achievement.

To be STRONGER Physically and Mentally

Ever since I discovered the love of my life, Cheerleading. There was always an issue of strength. Although as many say that strength is just an advantage, I want to have that advantage. Along with the willing mind to learn and grow, to be better. Many in the team are growing so fast and improving tremendously and I definitely do not want to be left behind. That is why I will continue to improve and to make my seniors proud.

My third resolution would be,

To be a better person

Yes I do. Nobody has the best personality or the most appealing one. That is why I want to be a better person. To have a kind heart and to be able to connect with many emotionally. I know I have not been the best person I can be. If I was, then I wouldn't have lost the friends that I did. I also hope that I would able to patch up broken friendships and achieve a better relationship with people I don't converse with often.


Well that would be it for my New Year resolution list. There are many others which I will try my very best to achieve as well ( like to get a better heel stretch :D xoxoxo). I'm very grateful to be alive and celebrating the arrival of 2009 and 2008 was a pleasant one for me. From meeting great friends of all sorts to joining a fantastic CCA and from discovering the greater things in life that matter. 2008 has been the best and I will cherish every bit of it in my heart. Ending this year with what else, but pictures!

"The wonder that keeps the stars apart.
I carry your heart,
I carry you in my heart"

Christmas

It’s the day after Christmas. Traditionally presents are only supposed to be unwrapped today. Although I only had one gift this year, its wrapping paper went flying off even before Christmas day. Christmas this year, has been different. When I was a kid, I used to go over to my Aunt’s house in Malaysia for Christmas. It wasn’t my family who celebrating Christmas, but we just gather there during the holidays.

I remember my Aunt was very particular during Christmas. She was always trying to get the finest details right, from the decorations at the corridor to the food and presents for the kids who visited. Her family was the only Christian part of my family tree, the rest were Hindu. I still remember my first Christmas gift ever, a box of chocolates. Then there was this particular Christmas, the year after which was very different for us. When we reached her house on Christmas morning, she wasn’t around. As a kid, I didn’t know what happened, I just wanted my present. Soon after I saw my dad crying for the very first time and that’s when I realized. My aunt isn’t around anymore but I still remember the days I spent with her as a kid. Christmas was never the same again.

Many years later, straight after the crazy O levels, I got a job for the holidays. Yes, to work at Cold Storage. I had he work as an Order Taker for Christmas at Centerpoint. It was kinda like a promoter job, just of Christmas hams & turkey and all the other festive related products. The thing was there is no commission whatsoever, just $5 bucks per hour. It was during that period that I got to interact with so many different kinds of people in the form of customers. That was when I realized what Christmas was actually. When people ordered mostly food for Christmas from me (you gotta place an order and come pick it up when you want it) there surely was some time for plain old chat about Christmas. Sadly I had to work on Christmas that year, but boy was it crowded at Cold Storage that day. That was my last day at work and I kinda enjoyed it.

Talking about endings, the holidays are going to end as well. During the common test period, I was desperately in need of a break that I skipped my last paper =/ Yea, it was that bad. But when the holiday started, hours become days, days became weeks and now 2 weeks have almost past. There is only a week more till school starts. I don’t know what’s wrong with time but my days seem to pass by without me even realizing what day it is. I seriously hate the fact that my holidays are ending so soon. 3 weeks seemed extremely long in times of despair. It’s not like I achieved much during this holiday either. Just plain watching TV and playing Pokémon Sapphire and Diamond on the computer.

I don’t know what’s happening to me these days. Nothing seems complete to me. Even though I try to immerse myself with activities or hanging out with friends, I always feel there’s something missing. I don’t know, ever since I had that talk with him before the holidays I can’t seem to think straight. My mind’s wandering and my interest in communicating with others is steadily dying out. There were so many times when I wanted a miracle to save that friendship, but I guess it came too late. I am glad I had that conversation, but now my life’s just messed up.

Ragged

I know I have to blog,but knowing the truth that none reads this page cancels out my reasons. Besides, too much stuff running through my mind to post anything right now.

A failure.

Hello all.

It's December. It has been a month since I last posted, which means I've officially given up the National Blog Posting Month challenge. I seriously don't see how anyone can blog everyday about their lives in an interesting manner. Even if i do post stuff, none visit this blog anyway. I guess my life ain't that interesting.

It has been a long procrastination-filled two weeks. I've been telling myself very so often to get started on some revision for the upcoming test. Apparently I just can't seem to get started with much. Even though I do try my best to pay attention during tutorials and lectures, there is only a certain amount of achievement you get out of it. I really gotta get started soon or my hopes of joining back into the team would be seriously threatened.

The thing is, I really do want to make full use of my precious days. But there is only a restricted amount of time I have. 24 hours never seems to be enough. And my insomnia doesn't seem to be helping me either. Trouble sleeping and waking daily never fails to disappoint the anal lecturers. Well, at least I try to complete all my given assignments and projects on time (*a pat on the back for you Selvam*).

I don't know why but the past week has been kind of stressful to me. It does sound weird to have the word 'stressed' and 'me' in the same sentence. I've never complained to be stressful before, but I just can't understand whats wrong with my life right now. Family never ever seem to be understanding, underlying feelings of the team, regret of losing a friend. I don't know. There's just so much stuff on my mind right now. I just need some space, to breathe. I do still pray for him every night before i sleep. Hope he's doing fine without me.


PS: People are starting to think I'm gay for no apparent reason. I don't know what's wrong with them, but I'll just let them be.