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Not gonna update anymore, since no one is reading.

Besides, all my thoughts cannot be shared anyway.

The Start.

It's been forty-one days since I last wrote something on this beautiful blog. As you can see, blogskin has been changed. I decided to use more of a simple & classic approach and vio la! Perfect sunset on the African Savanna. 

There were no post during the 7 week break cause I'm plain lazy. Now that school has begun once again, I'll have more stuff to blog about hopefully and just try to keep myself busy. I'm kinda glad with my current timetable. Other then having 3 hour long practicals everyday (4 days a week actually), things are going smoothly for the first/second week of the new year. I didn't like the idea of having a different bunch of people in my class but I'm getting used to it I guess. Being friendly sure allows you to make friends fast! I can't wait for trainings to start once again. Boy, how much do I miss everyone on the team. 6th May! I'm looking forward to it.

I recently got this cool friendship name tag thingy that I ordered. I'm not the kind who gets those stuff but I got one for a good friend of mine some time ago. Now I decided to get one for Andra. He's been wanting to have some link-link band with me and I finally got it. Oh my, should have seen his face man. He was so touched he nearly cried. It's a red plastic one with his name engraved on it and a message on the other side. I got a matching blue one with my name on one side and Magnum Force engraved on the other. I'm telling you, it's some cool shiz. Since it's made of plastic, it wont break.

I added a game to the blog as well so that people can enjoy playing something while visiting. You can always inform me if the blog song/game is fun/boring/lame or if it's annoying. Especially the embedded song, it pauses a lot while loading. All comments are welcomed. Till next time!

Goals Set.

Hello everyone. I know it's been ages since i last posted. Procrastination is a real bad ass. I wanna blog at times & mind you, my life is interesting enough to blog about but I just can't seem to start. That doesn't matter now. I will be changing blog skin soon and then I'll have a detailed blog post.

Since the beginning of the semester, I had one goal, to join Magnum again. I had to leave since I didn't do well in my studies and was debarred. It was a tough time being without my friends and training at the sports deck. But i guess it gave me enough time to think and reflect on what  I want to achieve. Now it's the end of the semester and I've got my results back. Although I didn't get the GPA i wanted, I guess i just gotta do better next time. For now;

Goal : Achieved

Magnum, here i come!

updates

Hello, I'm sorry for not updating in a month and i promise i will during the weekends.

Birthdays

Happy birthday guys.

You've got my well wishes & always will.

Poke the heart.

Hello www.really-haunted.blogspot.com . It's been some time since we last talked. Well, what should I say? It's a new year and I won't judge it just yet. Things have been okay lately and I'm really glad.

I received my Common Test results recently, and they're much better then what I got semester. For sometime now I've been stagnant in what I've been doing and I'm glad that there has been improvements even in the slightest details of life. During the Christmas break as well I've been trying to improve non-academically by gymming with a friend of mine. I can't say how glad I am to mention time and time again that I've improved, cause that's what I want to see in my life; improvement.

Why do I so desperately want to be better? Well, that's because it's goal #2 in my list of goals/resolutions for the year, if you read the post before the previous one you would know. Although small, I can see my achievements helping me to reach my goal of returning back to the team. My academic results were the reasons why I was forced to let go of the team and I'm sure I'll be back soon.

Cheering is that something special which never fails to put a smile on my face after a tough day of training. I want to carry that smile once again. No matter how much I try to stay cheerful and to see the cup half full instead of half empty, there is always that unknown factor which pokes you're heart and reminds you of the past. I guess some of us can relate to it huh? I've tried to be more sociable and I can see my circle of friends increasing but it still feels incomplete.

It just drains me all of my emotions just to stay positive for a minute. And the moment I reach home my bag of smiles goes empty, leaving the stern face I wear on the bus, lagging behind. How can I smile? When the person who brought me joy all along isn't around anymore. Sometimes I'm so confused, I feel like stabbing my self right in the head. Ahhh, I really don't know what to do right now. I feel like a bad person.

Have you ever had this feeling? Whereby you lose something you treasure, hoping that one day it might come back? Somewhat like losing your money, your pet budgie or maybe, a good friend. And one day, it does come back but... you can't accept it in your life again. That pain must have been unbearable huh? A friend wants you back in his life, you want him back too but you can't let it happen, fearing the same pain might be inflicted twice. Then after, you carry the honour of blaming yourself, for being the bad guy. For being that asshole who wants to protect himself from further pain. Yea, that summarizes how I feel.

I don't know what else I should feel, cause not many do understand. I know I cared for him more then anything. The only one I ever let inside. I was glad that conversation happened once again, to know that you still do care. But the void in my heart still remains. No one else will take that spot you once took, as a friend and as a brother. It doesn't matter if my bag of happiness runs out, as long as yours is always full. What else can I ask for? Then for my brother to be happy always.

It's not about missing you.
It's about finding.
I will find you.




*I'm sorry guys if the post was negative and dull. It's just my thoughts in 625 words.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	High
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

Only the last 3 seem true. The rest with 'Moderate' is fake. I'm not a bad person :(

The last post of 2008!

The last day of 2008 and who isn't excited? Although 2008 was full of ups and downs, I am grateful that it was a safe and pleasant year. 2009 is less then an hour away and I wanna make a memorial of the finer moments this year.

But before that, I wanna share my resolutions for the new year ahead. I try to remain humble with my resolutions while keeping it challenging. First and foremost;

Magnum Force to be CHAMPIONS!

Actually it's more of a wish then a resolution. But i hope everyone will try they're best to reach the team's common goal. Even if we don't, I hope that Magnum will grow with its members and for them to learn and surpass their previous generations of seniors.

Secondly, more of a personal achievement.

To be STRONGER Physically and Mentally

Ever since I discovered the love of my life, Cheerleading. There was always an issue of strength. Although as many say that strength is just an advantage, I want to have that advantage. Along with the willing mind to learn and grow, to be better. Many in the team are growing so fast and improving tremendously and I definitely do not want to be left behind. That is why I will continue to improve and to make my seniors proud.

My third resolution would be,

To be a better person

Yes I do. Nobody has the best personality or the most appealing one. That is why I want to be a better person. To have a kind heart and to be able to connect with many emotionally. I know I have not been the best person I can be. If I was, then I wouldn't have lost the friends that I did. I also hope that I would able to patch up broken friendships and achieve a better relationship with people I don't converse with often.


Well that would be it for my New Year resolution list. There are many others which I will try my very best to achieve as well ( like to get a better heel stretch :D xoxoxo). I'm very grateful to be alive and celebrating the arrival of 2009 and 2008 was a pleasant one for me. From meeting great friends of all sorts to joining a fantastic CCA and from discovering the greater things in life that matter. 2008 has been the best and I will cherish every bit of it in my heart. Ending this year with what else, but pictures!

"The wonder that keeps the stars apart.
I carry your heart,
I carry you in my heart"

Christmas

It’s the day after Christmas. Traditionally presents are only supposed to be unwrapped today. Although I only had one gift this year, its wrapping paper went flying off even before Christmas day. Christmas this year, has been different. When I was a kid, I used to go over to my Aunt’s house in Malaysia for Christmas. It wasn’t my family who celebrating Christmas, but we just gather there during the holidays.

I remember my Aunt was very particular during Christmas. She was always trying to get the finest details right, from the decorations at the corridor to the food and presents for the kids who visited. Her family was the only Christian part of my family tree, the rest were Hindu. I still remember my first Christmas gift ever, a box of chocolates. Then there was this particular Christmas, the year after which was very different for us. When we reached her house on Christmas morning, she wasn’t around. As a kid, I didn’t know what happened, I just wanted my present. Soon after I saw my dad crying for the very first time and that’s when I realized. My aunt isn’t around anymore but I still remember the days I spent with her as a kid. Christmas was never the same again.

Many years later, straight after the crazy O levels, I got a job for the holidays. Yes, to work at Cold Storage. I had he work as an Order Taker for Christmas at Centerpoint. It was kinda like a promoter job, just of Christmas hams & turkey and all the other festive related products. The thing was there is no commission whatsoever, just $5 bucks per hour. It was during that period that I got to interact with so many different kinds of people in the form of customers. That was when I realized what Christmas was actually. When people ordered mostly food for Christmas from me (you gotta place an order and come pick it up when you want it) there surely was some time for plain old chat about Christmas. Sadly I had to work on Christmas that year, but boy was it crowded at Cold Storage that day. That was my last day at work and I kinda enjoyed it.

Talking about endings, the holidays are going to end as well. During the common test period, I was desperately in need of a break that I skipped my last paper =/ Yea, it was that bad. But when the holiday started, hours become days, days became weeks and now 2 weeks have almost past. There is only a week more till school starts. I don’t know what’s wrong with time but my days seem to pass by without me even realizing what day it is. I seriously hate the fact that my holidays are ending so soon. 3 weeks seemed extremely long in times of despair. It’s not like I achieved much during this holiday either. Just plain watching TV and playing Pokémon Sapphire and Diamond on the computer.

I don’t know what’s happening to me these days. Nothing seems complete to me. Even though I try to immerse myself with activities or hanging out with friends, I always feel there’s something missing. I don’t know, ever since I had that talk with him before the holidays I can’t seem to think straight. My mind’s wandering and my interest in communicating with others is steadily dying out. There were so many times when I wanted a miracle to save that friendship, but I guess it came too late. I am glad I had that conversation, but now my life’s just messed up.

Ragged

I know I have to blog,but knowing the truth that none reads this page cancels out my reasons. Besides, too much stuff running through my mind to post anything right now.

A failure.

Hello all.

It's December. It has been a month since I last posted, which means I've officially given up the National Blog Posting Month challenge. I seriously don't see how anyone can blog everyday about their lives in an interesting manner. Even if i do post stuff, none visit this blog anyway. I guess my life ain't that interesting.

It has been a long procrastination-filled two weeks. I've been telling myself very so often to get started on some revision for the upcoming test. Apparently I just can't seem to get started with much. Even though I do try my best to pay attention during tutorials and lectures, there is only a certain amount of achievement you get out of it. I really gotta get started soon or my hopes of joining back into the team would be seriously threatened.

The thing is, I really do want to make full use of my precious days. But there is only a restricted amount of time I have. 24 hours never seems to be enough. And my insomnia doesn't seem to be helping me either. Trouble sleeping and waking daily never fails to disappoint the anal lecturers. Well, at least I try to complete all my given assignments and projects on time (*a pat on the back for you Selvam*).

I don't know why but the past week has been kind of stressful to me. It does sound weird to have the word 'stressed' and 'me' in the same sentence. I've never complained to be stressful before, but I just can't understand whats wrong with my life right now. Family never ever seem to be understanding, underlying feelings of the team, regret of losing a friend. I don't know. There's just so much stuff on my mind right now. I just need some space, to breathe. I do still pray for him every night before i sleep. Hope he's doing fine without me.


PS: People are starting to think I'm gay for no apparent reason. I don't know what's wrong with them, but I'll just let them be.

Akatsuki.

I had IS lessons today. COMT & IAC.
Man I've been very meticulous with my IS work.
Since It's easy to score if you're consistent.
Not to say I'm a big dreamer, but an A is what I'm expecting.
My Seniors have got AD for it before & I know it's possible.

So far my teacher has been giving me the thumb's up fer IAC.
One more week till IAC presentation and no more IAC.
YAY! Hopefully the presentation will be perfect!



Anyway, for today's blog entry I'll like to talk about...

Akatsuki!

The Akatsuki kanji means daybreak, breaking down the word itself gives us "aka" meaning red (a common color in the group) and "tsuki" meaning moon. This Organization is a collection of S-Ranked(Super Duper Strong) criminals from the Naruto anime series. Each one of them have their own unique powers which make them Elite Ninjas of their kind.

And i think their way cooool. Although their objective is world domination, I love it that they use each one's ability to their greatest extent and also work as a team to achieve their goals.




The image above is of Akatsuki with 11 members, including Orochimaru.
Akatsuki Fans are welcome to grab that picture for your wallpaper or something.
But PLEASE give credits back to this webby or to me.
It wasn't easy to edit that picture (Hi, photoshop noob here).

Scenario on how to give credits;-

A: "Woah! kewl Akatsuki wallpaper dude! Where'd you get it from?!!"
B: "Thank you, sexy ain't it? I got it from Selvam! you can also get it from his blog~"
A: "OHHH. OKAY! Thanks dude!"


That's all for today. It's just a little peak of what I truly love, Akatsuki.
Hope you enjoyed reading :D

I've got a dog.

Dear Diary,

It's day 13 of the daily blog posting month.
Truth is, I'm seriously die-ing.
Today I adopted a Bijuu.
I shall call him Shukaku.
(Oh wait, that is his real name -.-)

He's a monster from Naruto.
He controls sand and does amazing stuff with it.
Unfortunately Gaara got him first,
So I can't be his real owner. (darn it!)

You can adopt him and his 8 other friends here!

It's my Wednesday.

If you didn't know, today's Wednesday
I won't bother explaining what I did today,
but I have to blog about something.

We say games are fun.

It's still E-learning week,

So I didn't have lessons today.
Instead I came to school to accompany Andra and Fifi.
Tuesday's tradition of meet ups will always be :D

I crashed one of their afternoon lectures, & I must say.
There is an obvious difference from Year 1 & 3 lecture systems.
Apparently only 15 people turned up for that particular lecture.

There he goes, happily teaching.

Fifi playing PSP

The DJ Max fever has swept across people of all courses.
Everyone seems to be crazy about it these days.
That was my Tuesday, briefly.
& I'm glad I didn't stay home.

Im a black dot.

Okay, problem solved.
People apologized.
Post deleted.
End of story.

But that doesn't mean the broken friendships will be reunited.
Just so you know.

Sundays with ah huay.

Its a Sunday.
Okay, So how was my day.

I had Tao Huay.
It was sweet.
& liked it.

Have I ever mentioned how much I like Chinese Deserts?
Oh yes I do...
My favourite would be the Cheng Teng @ Canteen 3.
I tell you ah, It's the best Cheng Teng in the world.
It beats the one @ Canteen 1 flat.
AND ITS ONLY 60CENTS.
ZOMG!!@€@#%#$^#$^

I love Cheng Teng
& she loves me back.

Okay, thats all.

Bishy bashy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENNIS!

HOHOHO!
Finally you're 18 and no longer same age as me.
Hope you enjoyed today and contented with the big cake.

Work hard for what you want and never give up!
You've been given the chance, so use it well!
Jia you!

Online learning, thats what they call it.

Today's E-learning day.
Its suppose to be less stressful then school days.
Read carefully, "supposed to be".
Apparently I just managed to complete all my work fer the day.
Tough day ill say. No wonder its called E-Learning day.
Stole my whole darn day.

COMT - Done
IAC - Done

E-Learning week next week.
I hope the next 9 days wont be tough like this.
Then again, It's times like this which make you appreciate school days much more.


A short flash film for you;
Click the picture to view!

Thursday

Its Thursday.
Since tomorrow is E-Learning day and the next week being E-learning week,
I've got 10 days of break man.
That's great I'll say, I've been in dire need of some time-out.

I'm still aching from gym-ing on Tuesday.
Guess four weeks of absence from the gym makes Selv a sore boy.
I hope I'll be able to gym more often, to get the strength that I desire.
And then to prove some people wrong.

There were the times when some people said;
"Without strength, You're nothing"
Being part of a performing sport, I learnt that it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter what you are right now, but what you wanna be.
I will make my impact, just you watch old friend.



Thursday spells Maths-With-Koh-Yet-Ling.

Fuck maths