Besides, all my thoughts cannot be shared anyway.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Start.
It's been forty-one days since I last wrote something on this beautiful blog. As you can see, blogskin has been changed. I decided to use more of a simple & classic approach and vio la! Perfect sunset on the African Savanna.
There were no post during the 7 week break cause I'm plain lazy. Now that school has begun once again, I'll have more stuff to blog about hopefully and just try to keep myself busy. I'm kinda glad with my current timetable. Other then having 3 hour long practicals everyday (4 days a week actually), things are going smoothly for the first/second week of the new year. I didn't like the idea of having a different bunch of people in my class but I'm getting used to it I guess. Being friendly sure allows you to make friends fast! I can't wait for trainings to start once again. Boy, how much do I miss everyone on the team. 6th May! I'm looking forward to it.
I recently got this cool friendship name tag thingy that I ordered. I'm not the kind who gets those stuff but I got one for a good friend of mine some time ago. Now I decided to get one for Andra. He's been wanting to have some link-link band with me and I finally got it. Oh my, should have seen his face man. He was so touched he nearly cried. It's a red plastic one with his name engraved on it and a message on the other side. I got a matching blue one with my name on one side and Magnum Force engraved on the other. I'm telling you, it's some cool shiz. Since it's made of plastic, it wont break.
I added a game to the blog as well so that people can enjoy playing something while visiting. You can always inform me if the blog song/game is fun/boring/lame or if it's annoying. Especially the embedded song, it pauses a lot while loading. All comments are welcomed. Till next time!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Goals Set.
Since the beginning of the semester, I had one goal, to join Magnum again. I had to leave since I didn't do well in my studies and was debarred. It was a tough time being without my friends and training at the sports deck. But i guess it gave me enough time to think and reflect on what I want to achieve. Now it's the end of the semester and I've got my results back. Although I didn't get the GPA i wanted, I guess i just gotta do better next time. For now;
Goal : Achieved
Magnum, here i come!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Poke the heart.
Hello www.really-haunted.blogspot.com . It's been some time since we last talked. Well, what should I say? It's a new year and I won't judge it just yet. Things have been okay lately and I'm really glad.
I received my Common Test results recently, and they're much better then what I got semester. For sometime now I've been stagnant in what I've been doing and I'm glad that there has been improvements even in the slightest details of life. During the Christmas break as well I've been trying to improve non-academically by gymming with a friend of mine. I can't say how glad I am to mention time and time again that I've improved, cause that's what I want to see in my life; improvement.
Why do I so desperately want to be better? Well, that's because it's goal #2 in my list of goals/resolutions for the year, if you read the post before the previous one you would know. Although small, I can see my achievements helping me to reach my goal of returning back to the team. My academic results were the reasons why I was forced to let go of the team and I'm sure I'll be back soon.
Cheering is that something special which never fails to put a smile on my face after a tough day of training. I want to carry that smile once again. No matter how much I try to stay cheerful and to see the cup half full instead of half empty, there is always that unknown factor which pokes you're heart and reminds you of the past. I guess some of us can relate to it huh? I've tried to be more sociable and I can see my circle of friends increasing but it still feels incomplete.
It just drains me all of my emotions just to stay positive for a minute. And the moment I reach home my bag of smiles goes empty, leaving the stern face I wear on the bus, lagging behind. How can I smile? When the person who brought me joy all along isn't around anymore. Sometimes I'm so confused, I feel like stabbing my self right in the head. Ahhh, I really don't know what to do right now. I feel like a bad person.
Have you ever had this feeling? Whereby you lose something you treasure, hoping that one day it might come back? Somewhat like losing your money, your pet budgie or maybe, a good friend. And one day, it does come back but... you can't accept it in your life again. That pain must have been unbearable huh? A friend wants you back in his life, you want him back too but you can't let it happen, fearing the same pain might be inflicted twice. Then after, you carry the honour of blaming yourself, for being the bad guy. For being that asshole who wants to protect himself from further pain. Yea, that summarizes how I feel.
I don't know what else I should feel, cause not many do understand. I know I cared for him more then anything. The only one I ever let inside. I was glad that conversation happened once again, to know that you still do care. But the void in my heart still remains. No one else will take that spot you once took, as a friend and as a brother. It doesn't matter if my bag of happiness runs out, as long as yours is always full. What else can I ask for? Then for my brother to be happy always.
It's not about missing you.
It's about finding.
I will find you.
*I'm sorry guys if the post was negative and dull. It's just my thoughts in 625 words.
I received my Common Test results recently, and they're much better then what I got semester. For sometime now I've been stagnant in what I've been doing and I'm glad that there has been improvements even in the slightest details of life. During the Christmas break as well I've been trying to improve non-academically by gymming with a friend of mine. I can't say how glad I am to mention time and time again that I've improved, cause that's what I want to see in my life; improvement.
Why do I so desperately want to be better? Well, that's because it's goal #2 in my list of goals/resolutions for the year, if you read the post before the previous one you would know. Although small, I can see my achievements helping me to reach my goal of returning back to the team. My academic results were the reasons why I was forced to let go of the team and I'm sure I'll be back soon.
Cheering is that something special which never fails to put a smile on my face after a tough day of training. I want to carry that smile once again. No matter how much I try to stay cheerful and to see the cup half full instead of half empty, there is always that unknown factor which pokes you're heart and reminds you of the past. I guess some of us can relate to it huh? I've tried to be more sociable and I can see my circle of friends increasing but it still feels incomplete.
It just drains me all of my emotions just to stay positive for a minute. And the moment I reach home my bag of smiles goes empty, leaving the stern face I wear on the bus, lagging behind. How can I smile? When the person who brought me joy all along isn't around anymore. Sometimes I'm so confused, I feel like stabbing my self right in the head. Ahhh, I really don't know what to do right now. I feel like a bad person.
Have you ever had this feeling? Whereby you lose something you treasure, hoping that one day it might come back? Somewhat like losing your money, your pet budgie or maybe, a good friend. And one day, it does come back but... you can't accept it in your life again. That pain must have been unbearable huh? A friend wants you back in his life, you want him back too but you can't let it happen, fearing the same pain might be inflicted twice. Then after, you carry the honour of blaming yourself, for being the bad guy. For being that asshole who wants to protect himself from further pain. Yea, that summarizes how I feel.
I don't know what else I should feel, cause not many do understand. I know I cared for him more then anything. The only one I ever let inside. I was glad that conversation happened once again, to know that you still do care. But the void in my heart still remains. No one else will take that spot you once took, as a friend and as a brother. It doesn't matter if my bag of happiness runs out, as long as yours is always full. What else can I ask for? Then for my brother to be happy always.
It's not about missing you.
It's about finding.
I will find you.
*I'm sorry guys if the post was negative and dull. It's just my thoughts in 625 words.
Friday, January 2, 2009
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizoid Disorder: | Low |
| Schizotypal Disorder: | Moderate |
| Antisocial Disorder: | Low |
| Borderline Disorder: | Low |
| Histrionic Disorder: | Low |
| Narcissistic Disorder: | Moderate |
| Avoidant Disorder: | High |
| Dependent Disorder: | High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | Moderate |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders -- | |
Only the last 3 seem true. The rest with 'Moderate' is fake. I'm not a bad person :(
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